She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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