We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
