Will you blow on my dice?
This girl is more easily done than said...
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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