i'm signing you up for texting rehab
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
