Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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