You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize