Cold hands, warm shart.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
