the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Randomize
