Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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