Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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