end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Just high enough for therapy.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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