Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
