He is such a slut. More and more my type.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
