I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize