Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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