It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
