I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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