U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
