I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize