I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
