is your mom at the bar?
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
