i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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