Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
The beer is more important than you right now.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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