Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Randomize
