Yo dont text me then not text me
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
