You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
