My sheets look like a crime scene.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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