We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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