we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
