the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
