i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
We have started to decorate penises.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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