I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
where am i from again
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
