How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
