I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Edward fifth and chaser hands
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
