im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
