I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize