No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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