remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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