It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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