a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
