First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
