theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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