No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
