I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
