we made out on top of his cat.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
