i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
