69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
