oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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