I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
