giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Randomize
