Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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