in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
