There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
