Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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