I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize