Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
