Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i dont even know how to be here
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
